And so rounds off another pre-birthday family outing to a restaurant. We landed ourself at a local Chinese, and consumed multiple amounts of Take, the chinese alcoholic (very) spirit. As if to round off the evening, several memorable quotes popped up:

Waiter comes to clear away the plates:
Dad: “We’d best have the bill then.”
Waiter: “Yes, Sir.”
Pause.
Dad: “Unless, of course, we could run away without paying?”
*whole restaurant turns round to stare*

Driving (well, weaving) Home. Dad swerves to avoid an imaginary rabbit:
Mum: “GUY, you’re on the WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD”
Dad: ” I’m on the side of the road that I WANT to be.”

Splendid.

I’ve got a job. A temporary one, but still a job. Barclays Bank WILL be happy.

Oh, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW…!

DancingBush.com – make the President dance!

Oh oh oh, THIS is bin Laden humour at its best…

For the first time in my short little life, I was dragged to watch a basketball match with Michelle and Becki last night (Saturday). And, to my complete surprise, I actually enjoyed it! Goodness. I discovered three main things that night.

1. Basketball players are plainly sexual magnets. After the game, thousands (well, a few) of the female crowd gathered round the stars, trying to swop phone numbers with them. It was difficult to watch in awe, being with my girlfriend and all, but I managed…
2. The Thames Valley Tigers, who I was supposed to support, are in fact one of the sweatiest groups of people I’ve ever seen. Especially Number 7, a huge, ugly tyke that was instantly labelled “Becki’s boyfriend” to the amusement of the rest of the group.
3. I discovered that basketball is the home to the world’s worst job. Every time a sweaty specimen hits the floor after a failed manouvre, a young boy has to get on his knees with a rag and mop up the patch of sweat, while members of the audience entertainingly shout, “put your back into it, man.” I SERIOUSLY hope his wage is worth it.

This makes me feel warm and smily – after setting up spoof personal pages (1,2,3) on Love@Lycos, an online dating agency, I invited my online friend Will J along for the ride. Only HE created a real page. And then met someone. I was chatting to him tonight. I asked him how he was, he said “Oh, engaged, thank you”. Just, like, in passing.

CONGRATULATIONS, WILL!

I feel like Cupid or something…

Pointless but ultimately amusing sites (especially the last ironically-enhanced one…) :

• http://www.redry.net/
• http://www.raquo.com/
• http://www.something.com/
• http://www.purple.com/
• http://www.mit.edu:8001/alot.html
• http://www.ihateyouall.com/
• http://www.tourettes.co.uk/

Terrorist or NOT?

Virtual Pooh Sticks.

Conspiracy theories everywhere, but no-one stops to think – The Register sets them straight.