January 2002 Archives - wibbler.com

Holiday Report 31/1

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11am – True to form, my mental note to set up my clock/thermometer failed spectacularly, but I managed to bring it to the sunbed with me today. At 12pm, it felt cooler than usual, so I thought the experiment wouldn’t be hugely useful. I glanced down at the clock and made the horrifying discovery that it was in fact 58 degrees centigrade. After recovering and alerting the entire pool to my discovery, I immediately took a picture for evidence. It actually went up to 59 degrees, but, amusingly, the clock started to melt. OH THE FUN.
2pm – A scary ghost ship has been appearing on the horizon for a few days now – its like those pirate ships with loads of masts. Oh well.
Drinks Knocked Over = 1

Holiday Report 30/1

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1pm – I’ve discovered a bar only 200 metres from my sunbed. How adventurous of me. I immediately celebrate, and order a new cocktail called a Banana Mama. I also thought about the amount of drinks I’d chucked down my throat in the past week and a half – it averaged about 6 alcoholic ones a day. AND ALL FOR FREE. Did I tell you?
3pm – Very tickled indeed to find out the literal translation for Antonio Banderas’ name. In Mexico, his name is actually Tony Flag. Not quite as exotic…
9pm – Bought tacky presents for everyone (well, three of you), and run out of money.
Drinks Knocked Over = 1

Holiday Report 29/1

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12.30pm – It seems that we are fairly well known in the restaurants now – all our drinks are bought and replaced without us saying a word. Are we too predictable? Yes. Hmm.
2pm – It turns a little windy. Although nothing compared to the amusingly awful weather in the UK (snigger), we manage to have waves on our pool, which I thought was rather impressive. Although no-one else did.
Drinks Knocked Over = 1

Holiday Report 28/1

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4am – SNOOOOORRRRE. *thwack*
10am – Still no sign of the parcel my dad sent about a week ago. I should think its probably in Bolivia by now…
4pm – Venture away from our sunbeds to go boogie boarding. For people who haven’t a clue what this is, and mum and dad, it is basically a short surfboard made of polystyrene, that you attempt to ride the waves with. Attempt. After the 3rd mouthful of seawater, I finally got the hang of it, although I’m sure there’s more to it than this…
Drinks Knocked Over = 1

Holiday Report 27/1

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9am – After the previous days shenanigans, we are as worn-out and breathless as Bill Clinton after a meeting with his secretary.
11am – Drag ourselves down to the sunbed, but decide enough is enough within 30 minutes.
3pm – Manage, to everyone?s enjoyment, to lock myself out of my room. I can tell this won?t be forgotten easily. Perhaps bribes will help.
4pm – People still laugh.
9pm – Sleep.
Drinks Knocked Over – 0. Wahey.

Holiday Report 26/1

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9am – DOLPHIN DAY. Breakfast gulped down, with Becki grinning like a Cheshire cat and the thought of caressing and kissing a wet mammal. Each to their own…
10.30am – We set off far too early, and arrive with ages to spare. Trick parrots entertain us for a while, and then an enormous black bee shocks the living daylights out of me. I would have taken a picture if I wasn’t cowering behind a large bush.
12pm – Becki gets carted off in an army truck, and we wonder if we’ll next see her fighting in Afghanistan. Sadly, we all eventually turn up at the Dolphinarium, and Becki appears again, still grinning.
1.30pm – After an hour of frolicking, I?m a jealous turncoat. Dolphins are so intelligent and gentle, and it was amazing to watch. And yes, Becki got a wet kiss from two of them… The video of her fun is bought, and we return.
2pm – Alton Towers has nothing compared to a mexican taxi. The return journey leaves me breathless, and I recover for the next 6 hours.
8.30pm – The meal turns into a funfest, with a mexican and his singing band accosting everyone at the table. After he declares his undying love for Becki, we leave sharpish, only for me to have a donkey shoved in my arms for a cracking picture. SPLENDID.
10pm – We round off the night with theatre, which is far more entertaining than it sounds.
Drinks Knocked Over = 2

Holiday Report 25/1

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12pm – The smell of roasting flesh signals a return indoors after only an hour today. I make a mental note (always a problem, that) to put my clock/thermometer thing outside and take a picture as proof.
2pm – I cleverly mistake pesos for dollars and bring the equivalent of 25 pence for my hours internet access, which the attendant looks at in disgust. I send Michelle packing for more money while I lounge around.
Drinks Knocked Over = 3

Holiday Report 24/1

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2pm – Today, I made a ground-wobbling discovery. Something just nestling in the corner of the shop, without a single buyer. An enormous SOMBRERO. It was so impressive, I?ve bought it, and made several friends tonight at the dinner table, all commenting on the fine hat adorning my head. Its truly amazing. Well, I think it is. The only question is, how on earth do I pack it?
Drinks Knocked Over = 2

Holiday Report 23/1

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9am – Somehow manage to get up. We’ve now established a regular routine: wake up, eat, sunbathe, eat, sunbathe, burn, sleep, eat, sleep.
10.30am – I have also developed a personal routine of knocking over any drink that comes within 5 metres of me, creating a distinctly unhelpful sticky patch around my sunbed. Everyone curses me as they walk past and get sticky gloop on their feet. I feel like a particularly cunning Venus Human Trap.
8.30pm – Have our daily supper, and feel ill again.
9pm – Tonight we managed to stay awake enough to have a look around the complex, and find stalls with stuff to buy dotted around the pools. I start to wonder what awfully tacky things I can buy as presents. You lucky people. There is also a man who can paint an entire picture with only his finger. AND you can work out what they are. Very good with his hands, he is – bet his wife’s happy.
Drinks Knocked Over: 3

Holiday Report 22/1

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9am – We manage to survive the second night with the air conditioning straining at the hinges, and venture off to the pool for more burning time.
10am – After an hour, my body resembles a grilled sausage, so I cover up and head for the internet cafe. Jac and Shunta are online, so I try my best to make them jealous. Jac kindly offers to be Becki’s boyfriend in order to drop everything and join me, which we consider a little too much, and Shunta wants to go to the pub. Unusually.
3pm – George the iguana has sadly disappeared, and we pine for him for about 3 minutes.
Today is also the day where my drink-knocking-over skills come to the fore.
Drinks Knocked Over: 2