Dad’s birthday today, and since my newly-found employed status, I’ve had a hell of a time buying him a present. I’ve got terrible dress sense – a dark green anorak was a favourite in college – and so buying ties is just beyond me. I drafted in Michelle, and finally plumped for a fine little number from Tie Rack in Guildford. Sadly, one look at the tie prompted the shop manager to remind me of the 30 day returns policy, which didn’t fill me with confidence. But hey, my dad liked it.

Christ. In the first 2 days of work, I’ve worked for 24 hours in total, 14 on Wednesday and 10 on Thursday! Welcome to working life, Wibbler…. (and now, wibbler is off to bed, as in 8 hours time, he has to be at work again…)

I start work tomorrow. Its cold, wet, dark and raining, everything’s shut, and I discovery my car battery is flat…

2 corkers for you tonight:

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?
Philippe Pheloppe.

Last night I dreamt I had written ‘Lord Of The Rings’.

This morning I realised I’d just been Tolkein in my sleep.

Passenger pans airline after toilet ordeal – Flush second, flush SECOND…

As the rain started pattering on the aeroplane’s window, I knew I was back home. I just wanted to grab England in a gentle headlock and ruffle its hair in delight. The flight began and ended on time; not without a few tense moments, mind. Namely, the astonishingly troublesome turbulence as we set off; the terrorisingly close path over New Orleans right in the middle of the Super Bowl, just after hearing of its high security alert as a potential terrorist target; and of course the pilot uttering, “and to our left you can see the now infamously changed New York skyline” as another bout of turbulence kicks in for laughs. I felt like an iceberg waiting for the Titanic. But here I am, still amazed at the sight of twinkling city lights in the night sky 10,000 feet below, and the shooting star that looked for all the world like a stray missile. Now, I really must get some sleep – 31 hours is a long time to be awake in anyone’s book…

2pm – Well, off we go, back to the storm infested British Isles. With any luck we should touch down around 10.30am British time, give or take a few storms…

Thanks for reading, old things, and seeing as I can’t update you from the plane, I thought I’d give you a few gems from our silly mouths over the last 2 weeks. Goodbye!

9am – We decide to go on some canoes for a while, and we cleverly choose a time when the waves are just picking up. 3 seconds after casting out to sea, Michelle flips over, and we all laugh ourselves hoarse. Soon, we get the hang of it, and half an hour later we’d tried to come to shore. This is ridiclously easy, and I rode in on a huge wave, managing to get half way up the beach without any help whatsoever. SPLENDID FUN.
10am – Michelle and Becki’s mum does a magnificent impression of a sprinkler in action, even down to the phhht phhht sounds. Truly impressive.
Drinks knocked Over = 0

9am – We go for an early morning (relatively) cycle ride, on bikes which we rapidly discovered had NO BRAKES. How on earth can you make bikes with no brakes? Very amusing, though.
Drinks Knocked Over = 0