I was only going for a chinese.
As Michelle and I pulled up to the red lights on the A3/A322 junction in Guildford at just after 7pm last night, the sunshine was drawing in, shadows were slowly forming, and leaves rustled across the road. It was an almost perfect end to the day.
Then, a loud, scraping noise came hurtling round the corner. It sounded as though either a crash was in progress, or the world was imploding. I favoured the former and just a second later, a car rushed into view about 5 metres in front of us, one wheel missing. As it hit the side kerb, the entire metal mess launched into the air and slammed into the side wall at 60mph. As Michelle and I tried to catch our breath, a police car came into view, screeched on its brakes, and its driver ran over to the carnage. The passengers of the stolen car limped out, but the driver was pinned against the steering wheel, bleeding profusely. Moments later, a helicopter and a riot van turned up, and a few seconds after that, in what seemed a little like overkill, 4 police cars and two ambulances arrived.
It was like a scene from The Bill. I was wondering this morning how I could write about it in an amusing way, but decided against it. When something like that happens 5 metres away from you instead of on a television screen, and when not actors but real people stagger out, blood pouring all over the place, it’s a fairly harrowing experience. Had the lights turned green five seconds earlier, the poor old age pensioners in front of me would have had an early exit from life. I suppose its a good thing that I’ve seen it first hand – next time it happens I’ll be better prepared for the scene – but I have to admit it’s something I don’t want to see TOO often.
Still, my chinese was very tasty.

Everyone’s sneezing, reports the BBC. You’re telling me. Since last Wednesday, my waking hours have been dominated by nose blowing and itchy eyes. The only comfort sufferers can take from the BBC article comes from Dr John Morris, who entertainingly warns that by 2050, everyone will have it. To those young upstarts who were laughing at me in the traffic jam this evening, after my seventh sneeze in a row – just you wait, just you wait…

You can just imagine the conversation around the Powergen boardroom table – “We’re going to build a website to show our growing presence in Italy. But what to call it, what to call it…” And when all was said and done, they proudly announced: Powergenitalia.com…

A big thank you to Paul D (“P”), who, along with Liz and Ed Mundy, hosted a Sunday afternoon barbeque to be proud of. All my culinary skills came to the fore, and my ability to knock over full glasses of wine was beyond compare. I do apologise, P…
Last weekend also featured a trip to Gunwharf Quays and the Isle of Wight with Michelle and her mum, where we sunk great wads of cash into the Amusement Arcades. I’ve never lost money so enjoyably.

NTL, the infamous cable company, apologies to its users, who have been having trouble accessing their emails for about 3 weeks, with most emails going missing, by sending them… an EMAIL. Good god, they’re a bunch of brains…

Following my BBQ post earlier, I was told to my sheer horror that the “daddy long legs” is the most poisonous spider in the world. Having swallowed a whole one that night, this was plainly not good news. Investigation was needed before any revenge was taken on Jac, so I quizzed several friends on the matter. Their only response was to vigorously confirm the blasted news before laughing and pointing at my horror-filled face, so in a final desparate attempt I dug out Google and searched. And blessing upon blessing, I found this page at Snopes. Thank jimeny for that.

As I mentioned about a month ago, my dad inexplicably became councillor in the recent local elections – and I mean inexplicable in the nicest possible way. After recovering from the initial shock of election, he has set about his new role with relish, staggering under the Amazonian rainforest of paperwork that lands at our front door daily, and vigorously opposing most local plans. However, a single letter the other day became worth more than all the tree pulp in the Amazon. A little girl, age 9, decided, in her best handwriting, to write in with a small but significant request. I’ll let her take up the story… (click to zoom in)

This weekend, I discovered I must be growing up. Annie had invited Michelle and I over for a barbeque, and for once I only brought a small smattering of alcohol. The last time I’d visited her house, a very cruel Jac placed a Daddy Long Legs in a tasty cheesecake, offered me a slice, and giggled enormously as the bloody thing rolled around in my very drunken mouth, legs and all.
Still, last Saturday was a very different affair, and the small group of us – Elli, Annie, Annie’s boyfriend, Michelle and I – managed to have an enormous amount of fun, without the need for carnage and debauchery at any stage.
I still got outrageously drunk, but it’s a start.

Good God.

Orisinal.com – an amazing and beautiful games site by Ferry Halim. It’s won the Webby Awards again, and it’s no wonder – he’s even produced a little movie trailer too.