First 999 call – Christ they’re slow…

By August 29, 20039 Comments

“Umm… Hang on… Ummm…” the operator said, a sound of scuffling papers in the background.
*20 seconds passes*
“What about now?” I ask.
“No, hold on…”
And so began my first ever call to 999, the emergency services. It was a little scary – I had no idea what to expect. “Ambulance”, I barked, and was duly put through to the appropriate department. During the first half a minute of my report of a car crash at Hindhead crossroads, she was apparently “tidying up a bit”. By the end of the conversation, she must have had the tidiest desk in the office – the envy of all her colleagues. Meanwhile, a car was steaming in some bushes, rammed up against a tree, with a young woman looking dazed and confused. She was lucky to be still conscious. Still, as long as the operator’s desk was tidy…
And I’ve STILL managed to get to work on time. An absolute miracle…

9 Comments

  • Paul says:

    Where you involved in this crash and therefore suffering from shock when you wrote this? Or are you just hungover?

    “”Ambulance”, I barked, and was duly put through to the During the first half a minute of my report of a car crash at Hindhead crossroads, she was apparently “tidying up a bit”. By the end of the conversation, she must have had the tidied desk in the office – the envy of all her colleagues.”

    WHERE were you put through to?
    Do you mean tidieST or MOST TIDIED desk in the office?

    I have come to expect better quality from you, Wibbler. Tssst…really!

  • Wibbler says:

    I have no idea what you’re talking about.

  • Jac says:

    it seems to me that crashes occur when you are not so far away. This is the third in not a very long period I believe – are you cursed?

  • Wibbler says:

    I think I am. It’s worrying, isn’t it?

  • Jac says:

    I should also highlight the key point in this post: “a young WOMAN”…..

  • Liz says:

    Paul,what do you mean “Where you involved in this crash..”? I think you mean “were”,do you not? I have come to expect better quality from you,Paul.Tssst…really!

  • ginny says:

    I hope all you people out there realise that the road at Hindhead Crossroads (A3 intersecting with the A287)is the only single carriage way with traffic lights between Scotland (somehwere in Scotland, that is) and the south of France. No wonder there are so many accidents there which Simon witnesses on a daily basis … and so did I.

    I used to work in the office on the North West of the lights and my photocopier was in the window that faced onto the A3. I cannot tell you how many times I would be standing there, seeing Norbert Dentrassangle heading into my space – at first I used to jump out of the way but, eventually, I realised that the driver always managed to miss me. As did Eddie Stobart.. et al.

    There should be a beautiful bridge there – like the one in Dieppe which is a joy to behold – traversing the whole area. [I bet Jac knows about the Dieppe bridge – a suspension bridge, I think)

  • Jac says:

    ummm, what makes you think I have a penchant for bridges, Ginny??!

  • Wibbler says:

    Liz, what a BRILLIANT obversation! Backatcha, Paul…

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