April 2005 Archives - wibbler.com

“I will serve a full term.”

Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I think wibbler.com has been steering very clear of politics so far, and many will thank the heavens for that. However, I thought I’d just put a marker in tonight, after watching Tony Blair on The Paxman Interviews. Jeremy Paxman, who is a firm third on my list of televisual greats, is always good value at these things, and tonight’s questions were no exception. However the most telling section was the Paxman onslaught on Blair’s intentions after the election. There’s long been a debate as to when Blair will step down – he’s said himself that this will be his last election. Paxman charged into the fray. “Assuming you win the election, Prime Minister, can you guarantee in say 12 months time that we will still have you as Prime Minister?” Tony came back with his usual response. “Well, I’ve said I’ll service a full term, and you know …” Jeremy continued to ask the same question again and again and Tony finally stumbled. “You will get New Labour.” Tony replied.
Steam rose from my ears. Cogs turned inside my well-feathered head. Hold on! Full term? That could be 5 years, 3 years – even 1 year! And so, in an instant, I have worked out their plan. Tony wins the election in two weeks, calls a snap election again in say a year’s time, when he’s sure Labour will still win, and allows Gordon Brown to take over, thereby hoodwinking everyone, taking the opposition by surprise and leaving them all for dust. Tony’s done what he said – “a full term” – and Gordon Brown has taken over, leveraging in an extra couple of years of a Labour Government into the bargain.
Vote Blair, Get Brown (in a years time). I am a genius. Unless, of course, everyone’s already thought of this already. In which case I am merely average…
UPDATE: Full transcript here…

Flatwarming in St Luke’s Square

Posted by | Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Housewarmings are always worrying things. Or so I’ve heard. This was the first housewarming I’ve ever given – in fact the first party and, as the email invites said, one bedroom flats don’t lend themselves to large parties.
However, last Saturday we managed to fit 16 people into a space no larger than two small elephants. Michelle and I had prepared the party essentials – one large bowl of twin-layer vodka jelly,

party.gif

six vodka lollies and a party bag full of goodies for each visitor. I’d even bought a couple of party CDs to get us in the mood and invited “mystery guests” as a surprise bonus. But as 7.30 approached, I found myself subconsciously pacing. Would people come? Would they enjoy it? Would any of them be on time?
And then, in a sign of good things to come, the most regularly tardy friend I have and his girlfriend rocked up early. Nick and Sarah, in a reward for their timekeeping, quickly bagged the two best seats in the house and within one hour there were 16 of us downing drinks, drinking jelly, sucking on lollies, bouncing party-bagged bouncy balls and generally having a veritable mountain of fun. Old friends had rocked up to oohs and ahhs from the rest of the crowd, our next door neighbour seemed to be in deep conversation with most of the party until the early hours and at 3am, after finishing the night with a bout of XBOX action, we reflected on a cracking night. The clearup the next morning was particularly gruelling, mind you.
Well done to Nick, who managed the dual offence of wearing a
salmon-coloured shirt AND breaking our freezer door. Well done also to
Shunta, who managed to unhelpfully shove jelly down Michelle’s
trousers, hide hundreds of yellow Post It notes around the room (which, by the way, we are still finding) and set off the building’s burglar alarm at 2am. And thank you to everyone who came, and managed to turn 16 people in an 6×6 metre room into a possibility.
It would be unfair of me to finish without mentioning a couple of things. Firstly, congratulations to everyone for their efforts at the silly hat competition. Jac, as usual, excelled with a home-grown creation of a hat made up of hats; while other brought ski hats, a chicken hat, a Geordie hat, a Guinness hat and many others.
The second thing to mention is that, as my mother has already found, the pictures are up.

Who I Should Vote For

Posted by | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Who Should You Vote For?

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Conservative

Your actual outcome:

Labour -48
Conservative 26
Liberal Democrat -3
UK Independence Party 24
Green -3

You should vote: Conservative

The Conservative Party is strongly against joining the Euro and against greater use of taxation to fund public services. The party broadly supported the Iraq war and backs greater policing and ID cards. The Tories are against increasing the minimum wage above the rate of inflation, and have committed to abolishing university tuition fees. They support ‘virtual vouchers’ for private education.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

VOTE DAD.

Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I decided, as I posted the umpteenth set of leaflets through another combative letterbox, that I don’t envy postmen. This was the fourth out of four roads that I was canvassing to promote my dad as a political candidate in Headley, and I was discovering that almost every house has those letterboxes that are infernally difficult to post though – in order to deter the very leaflets I was shoving through them. Joining us on our doorstep challenge was the local political bigwig and a couple of helpers, all very into the political scene and eager to promote my dad. We split into individual roads, grouped to blitz streets and generally made ourselves known at 9.30 on a Saturday morning, catching a good few as they were running to hide behind a wall in their pyjamas.
It turned out, pleasingly, that most of them were on our side anyway, and we escaped with just the one lecture from an old lady on how we were all liars and as bad as each other. There’s not really an angle you can win with on that blanket argument…

Stained

Posted by | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Note to self: the night before your next party, try not to spill crispy seaweed and a bottle of dark soy sauce in the middle of the white lounge carpet. In fact, avoid a takeaway chinese altogether.