A lunchtime slice of double entendre

“I’m just going out to find something to put on Debbie’s baps.” My opening gambit wasn’t going well. As the office turned around in astonishment, I made my excuses and left. Waitrose was calling, and this lunchtime Debbie had supplied two spare bread rolls for me. I scoured the cheese and ham counters, and waltzed to the checkout some minutes later with some honey roast ham, a sizeable chuck of Swaledale cheese, some grapes for Debbie and a couple of Conference pears for another colleague. The checkout lady fondled the pears. “Oooh, they’re hard”, she observed, and then a moment later and much louder, “would you like a softer pair?”
The laughter died down a few seconds later, and after thanking her for the offer,I declined, saying entirely innocently that my colleague “likes them hard”.
I’m still tittering like a child an hour later.

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One Response to “A lunchtime slice of double entendre”

  1. steph on April 8th, 2005 7:17 pm

    oh , Simon your understatements :))
    really …under the cheek ? you know the exact terms for your lovely puns :))) A bon entendeur salut !
    Too idiomatic to translate , so ask for Jac’s help , he ’s so brilliant for that too ? yes indeed
    absolument, absolument !!!
    a very posh punctuation like your well well i mean but here …

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