April 2005 Archives - 2/2 - wibbler.com
“I’m just going out to find something to put on Debbie’s baps.” My opening gambit wasn’t going well. As the office turned around in astonishment, I made my excuses and left. Waitrose was calling, and this lunchtime Debbie had supplied two spare bread rolls for me. I scoured the cheese and ham counters, and waltzed to the checkout some minutes later with some honey roast ham, a sizeable chuck of Swaledale cheese, some grapes for Debbie and a couple of Conference pears for another colleague. The checkout lady fondled the pears. “Oooh, they’re hard”, she observed, and then a moment later and much louder, “would you like a softer pair?”
The laughter died down a few seconds later, and after thanking her for the offer,I declined, saying entirely innocently that my colleague “likes them hard”.
I’m still tittering like a child an hour later.
A while ago I waxed lyrical about a new craze that was sweeping the nation – “toothing“. People used phones with bluetooth to wirelessly invite others for a bit of rumpy. Newspapers and magazines helped to get huge coverage of the new sex craze. And then this week, a year later, Edge magazine revealed it was their hoax. Damn and blast.