Weddings are big things to organise, especially when you’re not one of the lucky blighters that can afford wedding planners. And when you’re a man with the organisational skills of a worm (that’s me I’m talking about, folks), it’s a tough nut to crack.
There’s no best way to do it. There’s no definitive guide, despite the shelves of books in WHSmith devoted to the event. There’s hardly ever someone you can ask every little question to. So, I’m going to write a few posts, each with a different wedding planning subject and telling you what went right, what went wrong, and what to look out for. It’ll take in most things that we’ve come across in our journey to the altar, in the hope that someone like me finds it in the future and thanks his or her lucky stars.
It will probably have a male-based perspective – I am a male-based person – but if there are any gems of advice I dole out, they will probably be for everyone to think on. Of course, it may be that we get things spectacularly wrong, and we’ll look back on these posts and laugh. Or cry.
Feel free to keep coming back to this post, as I’ll be using it as some sort of useful index thing.
(Oh, and feel free to donate to Simon and Michelle’s Honeymoon Donation fund. It’s not quite as worthy as Comic Relief, but far more useful…)
Wedding Diary – Index
0. In the Beginning (this post)
1. Setting the Scene
I’m getting married. Have I told you?
Come the end of April, Michelle and I will have got hitched, and will be sunning ourselves many thousands of miles away.
8 years ago, over Sunday lunch in a mutual friend’s house, Michelle and I clapped eyes on each other. We met over a crowded roast, you could say. If we’re both honest, the memories are a little hazy – mine mainly due to the previous night’s excesses in Cinderella’s nightclub, Guildford (It’s now Time nightclub, but still no better…). Our good, now long-lost, friend Alex de la Salle hosted the event, and I was coming to the end of a year of cutting loose after a 3 1/2 year relationship. I saw more of her twin sister Becki at first, going for drinks as friends in the bars of Guildford – but after I made sneaky trip to Bristol, where Michelle was working for a bit, we started going out. It was tricky for me at first – I had no intention of having to go through the heartbreak of breaking up again, so my solution was to avoid relationships in the first place. But Michelle… well, I’ll leave the slushy stuff for the wedding speech, but suffice to say she changed my mind.
We’re getting married locally in Worplesdon, having a bash with around 160 people in a local venue before jetting off for a well earned rest. And it is well-earned too – I had no idea of the amount of small things you need to plan to get everything to go smoothly. Now I see why there are wedding planners available to hire. And in order to stump up the wedding cash, I’m building 3 websites and ramping up publicity on my website Wiredfusion. It’s all a bit of a whirlwind – Michelle and I worked out we have no free weekends at all until after the wedding.
(Shameless plug – you can donate to our honeymoon at our special Simon and Michelle’s Wedding Donation website if you feel that way inclined…!)
The wedding day will, I’m sure, be awesome. The lead up to it? Not so much…
We are, I’m not shy of saying, in the golden age of the geek. The world is getting more and more integrated every day, the internet is getting more useful, the information we see gets greater and greater – and the amount of work I have to plough through getting ever larger.
The other day, while I was doing my day job, then going home and designing 3 websites, catching up on the day’s news and working out some final wedding plans, a friend asked how I manage to keep up with all the things I do. My answer? I use free, online services that integrate with each other, and do everything automatically. That way, a lot of the work is done for you, and as long as you’re near a computer they’ll be instantly available. Sure, you can do things with pen and paper too – but I’m a geek. Where’s the fun in ink and dead trees? (Actually, there is some hope at the end of this piece…)
So, here’s what I do. Maybe it will help you to get through the mountains of *stuff* too…
David Allen once quit his job to sell a new way of working to the world. His system, Getting Things Done (GTD), has been adopted the world over, and while a lot of it is a bit deep, I use quite a few of the ideas to get stuff done. Three main points – never put things off if you can do them now; divide tasks into sections and smaller tasks; and if you can, have one hub for all the information. Read up on GTD here.
*Catch-all hub of awesomeness*
Netvibes is a personal start page, can do everything I need it to. Use it for your most-used bookmarks, have separate tabs per section and integrate it with almost everything below. Seriously, it’ll save a heap of time.
Got single or recurring things that you need to be reminded of? Todoist will allow you to set up your tasks and projects in a simple, great way (you can add reminders to it for $3 a month). Alternatively, Google Calendar will do the same in a calendar interface, with free SMS reminders too. And view it through Netvibes, and you’re back to one hub of information.
People still use Internet Explorer 7 either because they have to or they never knew there was a choice. Firefox is my choice, and the plugins it has make it indispensible. If you want to save links for later, try Delicious. Simple, and the best.
Gmail is everything you could need for your email, and more. Once you try it, with all it’s wizardy filters, you won’t go back. If you use Firefox, sprinkle Gmail with the GTDInbox plugin and it becomes your personal task manager.
Again, Google comes up trumps. Google Calendar allows you to easily record everything, divide your events into different categories, and automatically send out emails and SMS texts as reminders.
Meebo allows you to connect to any of the major Instant Messenging services, including Facebook and Jabber. And, because t’s just on a website, you can access it from anywhere. It’ll even keep your chat logs.
*Connect your Work and Personal Calendars*
If you have a calendar for work (usually Outlook) and one for home (Google Calendar for me), you can synchronise them with SyncMyCal or Google Calendar Sync.
*Keep track of your favourite sites*
Are they blogs or sites that have an RSS feed (what is an RSS feed)? Track them with Google Reader and catch up with them whenever you have time. If you’d prefer email updates of the blogs instead, try FeedMyInbox, which will send you an email every day with the updates. Alternatively, you can have any RSS feed shown and synced in Netvibes, that diggy mofo I mentioned earlier.
If they’re not blogs or not constantly updated, you can still track any changes with ChangeDetection.
Get all this sorted, and you’ll never have to visit a site “just to check” again.
*Keep track of your friends*
Facebook is the obvious contender here, and for the more geeky amongst you, Twitter is the place to be. Integrate your Facebook status with twitter using Twitterfeed to save you having to update twice. If you contribute to a blog you can automatically announce your blog posts using Twitterfeed too.
*Keep track of your favourite things*
I want to keep updated on any mentions of my home town, the company, my unique surname, the list goes on. Google Alerts will send you updates on relevant things that pop up on Google searches and Google News. SocialMentions will search a whole lot of social sites and email you mentions. Tweetbeep or TweetLater will do this in greater detail just for Twitter.
I tend to wake up every morning at 6am and immediately think of things to do, or ideas to investigate. Sometimes an idea strikes when I’m not at a computer (I’m not tied to it, promise). So, a good old pen and pad does the trick when I’m out and about.
Let me know if you have any other websites or ideas that will help – I’m all ears…
“Well, it looks like you’ve got a disabled room, sir.” The man behind the hotel reception desk in Nottingham gave a weak smile, and I could only imagine the internal jokes that were racing through his mind. “You don’t look disabled…”
Strangely, I was busy taking this as a compliment when, suddenly, his face brightened. ” Ah ha! Looks like we’ve had a cancellation on the top floor. That’s good news for you, sir, the disabled rooms aren’t good for normal users, and you would have had the worst one of the lot too, just by the main road and the reception area. Rubbish rooms, really. So, I’ll put you on the top floor. Hold on a sec.”
I held on. I was pleased at my room upgrade – they way he was talking about it, I had avoided an awful stay in a rubbish room.
And then… and then. The receptionist’s face slowly changed from pleasure to marked pain.
“Ummm…,” he uttered.
“Hmmm…,” he continued, looking increasingly red. “I may have made a mistake. The hotel’s fully booked. Other than, of course, that disabled room…”
And so it was that I started my stay in the very same room the receptionist had slagged off only seconds before. It turns out its not so bad at all – sure, the switches are low enough for leprechuans to have to stoop down for, and doors that you could fit a large fridge-freezer through. However, the bright side is that I have special pulleys at the side of the bed AND bath that can yank whenever I need anything.
Hmmm, I *am* feeling a bit peckish…
These are my links for February 8th through February 11th
These are my links for February 3rd through February 7th
THAT's a snowball
Jac sent me a picture last night of his London snow; i told him we had none. Within 30 minutes, we had a white glistening reminder of what winter used to be like in sunny England (here are my photos of it all).
So here we are, enveloped in a snow blanket that I can only remember once before, back when I was 12. Michelle had the unfortunate dilemma of getting to the centre of town by 7am, as without her the Next store couldn’t open. After vainly hoping that a bus might turn up, and ever dedicated, she walked the 2 miles to work. I worked from home (only 3 people made it to my office in the end), occasionally staring out the window at the contrasting responses – children and teenagers having the mother of all snowfights; and frowning, wrapped up huddles of people trying to get out of the biting cold.
Sky News and BBC News have done sterling work keeping me informed – the giant snowball being rolled down a large hill live on BBC News was a particular highlight.and the local radio Station The Eagle was
Michelle braving it!
brilliant at giving us the local lowdown, despite their website going down with all the travellers eager for information. My garden is covered in 18 inches of the stuff. The usual miseries are popping up everywhere, wondering why the trains, buses, taxis, planes and cars in general aren’t moving today and how we haven’t prepared for it (how can we prepare for something that only happens every 18 years?!)
So most of the country is in hibernation; tomorrow is meant to be worse. The rest of the developed world is used to this kind of thing – but we’re making the most of it while we can!
These are my links for January 31st through February 1st:
There’s something very entertaining about a person driven to the edge of insanity by events. Basil from Fawlty Towers, for example, was watchable mainly because viewers couldn’t wait to see what rage he’d fly into next.
In the news in the last few days is a letter written to Richard Branson, tearing strips into Virgin Atlantic’s food service. Branson so enjoyed the letter he phoned the guy up to thank him.
I’ve stumbled on a few more excellent complaint letters that have raised hoots of laughter:
New Zealand Traffic Infringement Department: “I wouldn’t be too disappointed if we agreed to let this one go.”
NTL Letter: “You irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.”
Continental Airlines: “Does your company give refunds? I’d like to give me money back and start over.”
O2 Phone Insurance: “Perhaps you were in a slightly different timezone.” (alright, I wrote this one myself…)
Got any more?
I’m pleased to report that one of my sites, Boriswatch, is doing spankingly well at the moment, and just last week I hauled myself up to London to appear on the BBC News for a piece on “Boris watchers”. It was the 3rd time I’ve been interviewed, and happily I’m getting better at it. The first time, for an End Of The Year show in 2004, saw me taken down into the basement of a plush hotel in London, and without any training whatsoever I managed to spill a few uninteresting comments out. The key, I found, was to forget you’re on camera, which is a little tricky when there’s a large light umbrella, a huge camera and several television executives staring at you. My cardboardy performance was something I didn’t publicise, and is hopefully long gone. The second one, for ITV, was a far more successful affair, with Boris Johnson commenting on the site and ITV receptionists pictured wearing Boriswatch t-shirts. I managed – in my shy, retiring way – to play a DVD of the performance on the Training Room projector at work.
Which brings us to the latest interview, with BBC London the weekend before last. It pitched me (a pro-Boris, in case you hadn’t realised) against a couple of anti-Boris fellow geeks, who seemed to be full of conspiracy theories and smarting at Ken Livingstone’s loss. At least, that was what I was told by the BBC interviewer, although I’m sure they came across far better that that on camera.
The BBC Marylebone lobby
I arrived at the plush office in Marylebone a little early, and sat in the cafe next door, fevourishly researching the notes I’d made on the train journey. Over a muffin and pineapple Snapple, I noticed the place was full of media types, all with loud opinions on politics and celebrities. At 1pm, I sauntered into the BBC office, passing the security guard with remarkable ease. As I sat in reception, the internal BBC channel played in front of me, spooling out how wonderful the Beeb was. I continued watching as I got out a packet of extra strong mints, enthusiastically ripping open the packet and immediately dropping them all over my jacket and the floor. Mints rolled in all directions around me, and of course it was at immediately this moment that the videographer rocked up in front of me, asking my name and directing me down the corridor. I attempted to explain, but it was clear nothing would retrieve my dignity and I followed him up to the filming room.
The room, when we got there, was dark, save for an extremely bright light focused on the chair I would be sat in and a large projected image of Boriswatch on a screen. The interviewer arrived a couple of minutes later, and within a further couple of minutes the interview began. They don’t hang around, these reporters.
Feverish note revision
I tried to remember everything I had scribbled down earlier on the train, and prepared myself with the three pieces of advice I’d been given during my other two appearances. One, speak unnecessarily slowly (people watching won’t be used to any particular drawl); two, repeat the interviewer’s question (so that the whole Q and A can be shown without revealing the interviewer); and three – push your head forward further than normal (to reduce any additional chins).
And so it was that I talked about “the other site”, explained why I run Boriswatch, conducted a staunch defence of Mayor Boris, said what I had to say to Boris critics, and promoted some Boriswatch merchandise. The merchandise, if you watch the video below, is virtually the only part that made it to the final piece. The moment I mentioned the word “thongs”, the interviewer and cameraman dissolved a little, and it was a wonder I got to the end of the sentence before following them into fits of giggles…
It was all over in 15 minutes. Everyone was very friendly, and as I was guided down the stairs by the interviewer I got a small tour and potted history of the relatively small place. It is one of the oldest BBC offices in London, hosuing abour 100 people. It was under siege during the Ross/Brand affair a few weeks before – “we got a taste of our own medicine”, the interviewer wryly noted – as it was the location for the important Sack Brand meeting by the governors. Downstairs is the location of the entire BBC London operation, including all the researchers and the BBC London studio, which is barely bigger than Londoners see on screen every day. If you ever listen to the traffic news of London 97.3 radio, the reason there is always lots of background noise is because the traffic guy’s desk is right in the middle of the packed office floor. It really is very small indeed, which is the main reason they are moving to gleaming new premises very soon.
Three times on the following Tuesday it was broadcast, prompting 12 text messages and 7 emails within 10 minutes of the first broadcast, which coincided nicely with a particularly crucial presentation I was giving. The general consensus is good, but I seem to have an even posher accent on screen. I didn’t know that was possible.
So, here it is:
Links between December 14th and January 24th:
Just so you know, this is an automated recent overview of the Linkblog, a collection of interesting links I find on my travels. The archives are here: http://www.wibbler.com/tag/linkblog/
It’s Sunday evening, and I’m in Nottingham. The rain is gently pattering on the window, the Pizza Hut sign is faintly visible across the road, and I’m catching up on *stuff*.
This is the second of my four half-week stints in Nottingham. Sometimes, my day job takes me to interesting places – Dublin, Shannon, Munich, Zurich and Edinburgh, for example. In fact, in one memorable 4 day trip I took in all of those cities except Zurich. Sometimes, however, it’s a small hotel in Nottingham. My trip last week consisted of freezing weather, rubbish restaurants and an interesting episode where I found a human hair in a battered onion ring. I’ll pause here for you to take that last horror in.
Still, it gives me time to catch up on my “other” job, namely being an online geek. I currently have a small plethora of websites on the go at the moment, and it seems to be growing every month. It’s a nice little sideline, and one which has recently put me on the BBC! Fun.
The rain is now gathering pace, and I have a meal to eat. I’m sure after that, I’ll find some more geekery to perform…
Funky Christmas Tree
I would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!
Hope Father Christmas brings you sparkly things – he’s been to the Wibbler household, although confusingly we have no chimney…
P.S. If you’re stuck for things to do online, you can look at the Six Memorable Christmas TV Moments, Track Santa, and play some Christmas Songs. Have fun!
The last few weeks have been a mostly full of trips to the Royal Mail sorting office. Not for fun, you understand – I do almost all my Christmas shopping online, as all sane people should – but because I always miss the deliveries. Last night, I took my latest red “We Missed You” slip along to the post office, performed my usual pleasantries with the office guy behind the counter and waited for my parcel.
While I was waiting, an elderly mother and her daughter came in, handling over their red slip in anticipation. A christmas present, I expect they thought. The daughter was plainly excited: “It better be good, we’ve come 15 miles for this”, she said, rubbing her hands with glee. Evidently, it was an easier delivery to find than mine, as the man came back with both mine and their letters within 15 seconds. “Ah yes,” he said to the excited daughter, “it’s a christmas card. They haven’t put a stamp on it. That’ll be 69 pence please.”
Now, I’m not one for public announcements to strangers. But as the “bah humbug” nature of the situation dawned on the couple and all the onlookers, I couldn’t stop a smirk spreading across my lips. I looked around. Several others in the now-silent room were having the same problem. The couple, meanwhile, just stood and stared at the envelope (sans stamps). I couldn’t stand the silence any more. “Ha. Merry Christmas!”
To dissolved fits of giggles from the onlookers, and fixed stares from the couple, I waltzed out. Nothing so far this Christmas has cheered me up quite as much as their disappointed faces, and for that I will surely go straight to hell.
I slumped on to the sofa after a successful venture into pre-Christmas Guildford, switching on Sky News to catch up with the day’s events while I chowed down on a couple of shortbread biscuits. Mid-munch, I was shocked by the urgency of the reporter’s voice as she described “a torrent, a watery avalanche that has ensnared tens of people fearing for their lives” over in America. This sounded terrible. Then, they said they were cutting to live shots of the terrible scene while transferring audio coverage to the local TV crew on the scene.
I was on the edge of my seat. This sounded as though it was a devastating scene, and I braced myself.
Maybe it was the shock. Maybe it was the relief. But what appeared on the screen, I’m afraid so say, make me instantly laugh. A water main had burst, making an admittedly large amount of water cascade down a local road, catching motorists unawares. And that was the scene that confronted me as I sat, mid-munch. The reporters evidently sensed this was the greatest amount of coverage they were ever going to have, and began ramping up their descriptive abilities. “The magnificent crews are attempting to LIFT people outta there,” they said, as if this was the riskiest manueuvre out of all the (non-existant) choices they had available. “HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO!” his colleague interrupted, as a human-sized basket swung into screenshot. Slowly, the helicopter crew lowered the basket through the windswept trees. After about 5 minutes of inane chatter, the basket was nearly in position. They sadly misjudged, and the basket collapsed onto the roof of one of the stranded cars. “THE… THE BASKET’S COLLAPSED!” said a now slightly out-of-breath reporter. “The basket is ON THE ROOF!”
And so it carried on, with ever more dramatic headlines at the bottom of the screen as the unmitigated crisis developed. The American team, at the end sounding completely exhausted, were increasingly talked over by the Sky presenters in the UK, calmly discussing the matter, even noting as one of the stranded drivers struggled out of his car that they weren’t “wearing the right shoes for this – although I imagine he wasn’t planning on being stranded in torrents of water.” No flies on that reporter.
The episode ended after about an hour with everyone rescued and nothing much further to report on. We finally switched back to the normal UK presenters, who – like me – looked a little exhausted just listening to it all.
For almost the first time, it made me appreciate the typical reserved outlook of the British.
“I looked at your website just now. That was a waste of two minutes.”
Simon H was right. Nothing much but automated updates telling you where else I’d been while I wasn’t tending to the one website that started it all off! So here is an update that isn’t written by a web robot.
These last few months have been an ever-increasing whirlwind. The combination of an increasing remit at my *real* workplace, the increasing collection of websites under my burgeoning wing, and an impending wedding (more on that in later posts) all combine to make wibbler.com slightly dull.
I turned 30 a couple of months ago – a fact I was desperately unwilling to announce to many people. Jac and Michelle had other ideas though, and organised a stonking surprise party (photos here) that was set up at my own house while I was innocently watching Burn After Reading at the Guildford Odeon with Michelle. Thank you to everyone who managed to keep it quiet – or downright lie to me – and come along to celebrate just how old I’m getting. It was the first time that something had been organised around me that I hadn’t twigged about – I must be getting on a bit.
And isn’t time flying?! I’ve been 30 for 2 months already, and it seems like only yesterday that I was nursing the hangover from hell. Friends are starting to slide up the greasy pole of success, and the next 10 years are going to be a hell of a journey for all of us, I’m sure. Not least for Michelle and I, who are getting married in April. Awesome stuff. Michelle, true to form, has been incredibly organised and nearly everything is already done. All that’s left, more’s the pity, is to pay for the blooming thing. One phone call a month ago involving flowers and photography increased our expected costs by £1000 – my face afterwards was a little like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
And now it is nearly Christmas, and it’s nippy. Winter chills are running through the economy too, with my old employer, The Pier, biting the shopfloor dust. I still have a few friends from those days, a couple of whom are still there. The Pier was a tale of two halves. On the one hand, it seemed inefficient – how can a company who had a more than 50% markup on a majority of items go under? And on the other hand, the customer service was legendary, mainly championed by its founder Alison Richards who left the company 2 years ago and died last year. Customers love the place, and so do the employees. Even now, it seems like a retail family that are very sad that it’s all ending. If you’re on Facebook, the group “The (sinking) Pier” shows the loyalty the employees still have to the company. That’s something you can’t get in more places – but perhaps the lack of ruthlessness perhaps could have contributed to its downfall.
So, there are the main events in a nutshell. I’m planning on a few wedding-themed posts, and I’m planning to write more generally on inane topics. If you’re holding your breath, I have sympathy with your lungs – I only managed this post because I’ve had a few days holiday… 😉
Linkblog between November 10th and December 6th:
Just so you know, this is an automated recent overview of the Linkblog, a collection of interesting links I find on my travels. The archives are here: http://www.wibbler.com/tag/linkblog/
Brought to you because I am rarely on here, but I am quite often somewhere else…
Brought to you because I am rarely on here…!
Brought to you because I am rarely on here…!