bright metal -


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Last night was a standard night in Guildford with Jac , Michelle and Becki, with the added brilliance of a present Jac had bought for me. You see, when looking through some photos of my Mexican holiday a while back, he spied a picture of me holding a donkey – before turning to me and uttering the immortal words, “Nice ass.” We all agreed, after the laughter had died down, that this was a moment of comedic genius. And what should Jac find a few weeks later than a bright metal drinks coaster spelling the word ASS. I duly took my ASS around town with me on Friday night, squeezing all the amusing connotations I could out of the opportunity. For example, “don’t touch my ass”, “kiss my shiny ass”, and Jac’s chat up line, “would you like to touch my ass?” (and countless others) all came into play. in fact, Jac’s chat up line actually worked on Becki…