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christmas - 3/3 - wibbler.com

Cheap month

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My New Year economy drive is in full swing. January’s always an awful month – you’ve spent all your money on presents and pubs, and you have to survive an extra week before you get paid… In the last month, I’ve been to 3 parties – one work do paid for by the nice people at Head Office, and two house parties, where I rudely brought no alcohol and proceeded to drink everyone elses. Of course, thing’s never go to plan, and my car decided that now would be a good time to bring up its two bald tyres, broken cooling fan and dodgy rear brakes. Bless it though – got the tyres fixed yesterday, and it bombs along now. Chessington Tyres, I love you. Kind of.
So, what have I been doing without spending money? Well, I’ve been visiting Head Office, which put expensive lunchtime Marks and Spencer sandwiches well out of reach, and carting Michelle and workmates around for their Christmas do, earning ?20 in the process. I combined my chauffering job with a visit to the Cranley Hotel for a long drink with Jac and Shunta for the first time in ages. Jac managed to discover he could balance his beer on his stomach while standing up (previously he could only manage it sitting down – it’s sad, isn’t it), and the evening ended with a beer towel fight. Jac, as ever, has a full decription of the night here.
While Jac and I wondered out of the pub at about 1am, Shunta stayed at the bar till 4am, no doubt informing everyone how his pus-filled abcess is getting on…

Christmas/New Year updates

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In the words of several people this week, “Why the bloody hell haven’t you updated wibbler.com?” Well, in true FHM style, here’s the long overdue:

‘What Wibbler’s been doing this week (and a half)’

  • Went with my girlfriend and both sets of parents to the Jack and the Beanstalk pantomime in Guildford. Utterly brilliant (Oh no it wasn’t…) and fully regressed into childhood.
  • Got an extremely noisy Christmas card from Michelle.
  • Got wonderful presents from parents and girlfriend, including a Playboy Zippo lighter
    (all i have to do now is start smoking), a car kit, 2 sets of drinking games including shot glasses, a Yves St Laurent top, a Matchbox Twenty music DVD, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City for the Playstation 2, a Projector clock, a mini Ice Hockey game, toiletries, a book and some sweets. And other stuff.

  • Reminisced at drunken youth in Cinderellas nightclub. Ahh, the memories of that shoebox-sized club…
  • Worked. Far too much.
  • Visited aging relatives in Kent, and found it remarkably enjoyable.
  • Developed a new, fruit-themed, minimalist design for wibbler.com.
  • Found out at a New Years Eve party in Tooting that a recent friend is the bloke who writes the headline one-liners on Sky News. Cue a night of developing puns for his next day’s work, including: Chink in the Armour (story: Chinese army trouble), Out On A Limb (story: dismembered remains found in London), Water Disaster (story: Floods around the UK), Saddam Shame (story: impending war on Iraq), I Have A Very Large Hangover (story: he was VERY drunk last night).
  • Watched in sheer amazement as Jac blew up a balloon, only for it to explode in his face.
  • Realised that I am surrounded by the greatest, kindest and funniest bunch of tykes I could wish for. And, including my girlfriend, my closest female friends are all gorgeous to boot.
  • Discovered at same party that all Jac and I need in order to have fun is to be in the same room together.

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here’s to wars, global financial depression, and a pay rise…

So Close to a Lot of Money

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My manager and I popped out at lunchtime yesterday on a mission – to transfer 5000 pounds in cash across Guildford High Street in broad daylight. I was to be the ‘heavy’ – escorting her all of 500 yards up the road to another bank (if any armed robbers are interested, we’ll be doing the same again at 1pm today…). It was a precision operation, and would have gone faultlessly had I not stumbled upon a large key lying in the middle of the street, evidently dropped by a hurrying shop girl. I picked it up – it had a tag with a person’s name on it, and a safe code. And the name of the shop – House of Fraser. My situation at this point: I was next to a woman holding 5000 pounds in an envelope, and was holding the safe key of the largest department store in Guildford. I could have solved all my financial debts in mere minutes. Sadly, I have a conscience (and no suitable weapons), so after safely depositing Rhonda at the cash desk, I wandered down to House of Fraser, and as I handed over the key to the manager, wondered which one of the poor, quivering temps behind her was about to recieve an early Christmas present from the recruitment office.
While all this was happening, Shunta was buying someone a very nice Christmas present. But, needless to say, I’m sworn to secrecy for the next 7 days…

jonola.co.uk and cars.

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Well, in a striking but purely contrived coincidence, not only has there been bits of a man surgically removed in a public autopsy (gaping audience included) in the last couple of days, but jonola14.co.uk has been surgically removed from the generous hip of wibbler.com and is now a freestanding delight, paid for by the now fully flush Jonola. Tremendous.

You’ll notice it’s all been a bit sparse on wibbler.com lately. It’s frankly a struggle to find anything out of the ordinary that’s happened. Oh, apart from the first signs of my car packing up. It’s only been 6 months since I first purchased the RRN (really rather nippy) thing, but a loud noise in the front of the engine means its first longish stay in a Peugeot garage since it was built. It better be under guarantee, otherwise its no Christmas presents for anyone this year.

More photos online

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I’vve finally managed to get my recent photos online – the Christmas ones and also the Mexico ones, so you can get jealous. Go to the photos page and have a look. Note the PART 1 on the mexico page – there’s plenty more to come!

Caffe Uno Restaurant

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Well, I’m finally able to post again, after upgrading to a rather spanking new computer and ADSL internet connection! I love Christmas…
Well, what have I done since last time? I’ve had Christmas at Grandma’s, received loads of very nice presents, and last night went to Caffe Uno in Guildford for a knees-up with old Godalming College friends. 32 of us rocked up, which was nice, and ?542.19 later we were fairly full… And again I forgot my camera, so you’ll just have to take my word for it…

Site Searches

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A Merry Christmas to you all! If a tad late.
Another worrying month of people’s searches that result in their arrival here:

1. banned kylie advert
2. cheap software
3. bt 1571 service password
4. sister swapping
5. rate our boobs
6. pick the hottie
7. original of the word pussy
8. bin laden
9. nick’s ex girlfriends
10. fhm safe cracking
11. christina aguilera’s boobs
12. baby spice photos

Parking Wardens.

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One wheel on a single yellow line for 2 minutes = ?30 parking fine.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, you bloody parking wardens.

Christmas Tree

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There’s something fantastic to arriving home to a fully laden Christmas tree in your front room, with little mystery packages snuggled underneath. Which reminds me, I must buy some Christmas presents. Anyone else not lifted a finger to buy a present yet, or is it just me?!


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