Guildford High Street -

Wagamama’s for Free

Posted by | Uncategorized | 10 Comments

Wandering along Guildford High Street this lunchtime, hunting down some food, I came across a new restaurant, Wagamamas. “Open Monday!” it proclaimed, and my heart sank. Then, a friendly-looking woman in a rather fetching pinney, spying my eagerness to go in, asked if I’d like to sample the food. “Christ, yes,” I replied, “but you look expensive…”.
“Not at all, sir, we’re training today. Everything’s free.”
Everything’s free. That’s like a red rag to a bull. I still harbour my student inclination to take any free offer that comes my way, and I was in that door like a shot.
Now Wagamama is, apparently, famous. I haven’t a clue if this is true – I don’t get out much these days. However, their website seems quite impressive. I burst into the restaurant, and parked myself next to a lady who turned out to be recruiting for a speed-dating agency. My rugged good looks obviously impressed her, and she handed me a leaflet. I explained that my girlfriend may have something to say about me taking up her kind offer, and disappointed, she wondered off to accost some other poor man.
I had a full 2 course meal, washed down with 2 large bottles of Tiger beer. All for absolutely nothing. My stomach was most impressed. No such thing as a free lunch? Yeah there is…

So Close to a Lot of Money

Posted by | Uncategorized | 4 Comments

My manager and I popped out at lunchtime yesterday on a mission – to transfer 5000 pounds in cash across Guildford High Street in broad daylight. I was to be the ‘heavy’ – escorting her all of 500 yards up the road to another bank (if any armed robbers are interested, we’ll be doing the same again at 1pm today…). It was a precision operation, and would have gone faultlessly had I not stumbled upon a large key lying in the middle of the street, evidently dropped by a hurrying shop girl. I picked it up – it had a tag with a person’s name on it, and a safe code. And the name of the shop – House of Fraser. My situation at this point: I was next to a woman holding 5000 pounds in an envelope, and was holding the safe key of the largest department store in Guildford. I could have solved all my financial debts in mere minutes. Sadly, I have a conscience (and no suitable weapons), so after safely depositing Rhonda at the cash desk, I wandered down to House of Fraser, and as I handed over the key to the manager, wondered which one of the poor, quivering temps behind her was about to recieve an early Christmas present from the recruitment office.
While all this was happening, Shunta was buying someone a very nice Christmas present. But, needless to say, I’m sworn to secrecy for the next 7 days…