Holiday Report 23/1

9am – Somehow manage to get up. We’ve now established a regular routine: wake up, eat, sunbathe, eat, sunbathe, burn, sleep, eat, sleep.
10.30am – I have also developed a personal routine of knocking over any drink that comes within 5 metres of me, creating a distinctly unhelpful sticky patch around my sunbed. Everyone curses me as they walk past and get sticky gloop on their feet. I feel like a particularly cunning Venus Human Trap.
8.30pm – Have our daily supper, and feel ill again.
9pm – Tonight we managed to stay awake enough to have a look around the complex, and find stalls with stuff to buy dotted around the pools. I start to wonder what awfully tacky things I can buy as presents. You lucky people. There is also a man who can paint an entire picture with only his finger. AND you can work out what they are. Very good with his hands, he is – bet his wife’s happy.
Drinks Knocked Over: 3