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Forever losing the pesky thing?
Download LostDrive, and it’ll tell its new owner to send it back pronto.
Forever fixing people’s computers?
Download PC Repair Kit, and you’ll always be able to help.
Forever using other people’s computers?
Download PortableApps and always have your favourite programs ready to use.
Forever using other people’s computers, but you’re a spy?
Download DemocraKey instead.
That’s enough to be going on with. Mind you, have you got any others?